How To Find Your Tribe-What People Say Matters
I don't give a Fuck what people say! Yeah just do it!
These are popular attitudes today.
Yes, you need to do what you really want to do! And Yes, that means that some people won't like you.
There is a catch though.
Every single feeling you have is there for a reason. Which means the feeling you have of caring what others think of you is there for a reason.
There is good reason for us to care about what people think of us. Our survival literally depends on our connections with people. And yes I hate to break it to you, but our friends are our friends because they like us. They think well of us.
It is important for us to have people in our lives who like and support us. We cannot survive on our own, and therefore it is deeply embedded within us to care about what people think. It is completely unrealistic to always do what you want and never care.
You couldn't have a business if you didn't understand and care about what your customers want.
Feelings are always there as information, feelings in and of themselves are not bad. The feeling that you care about what others think is natural and normal, and has many many positive aspects to it.
Sometimes we might want to do things that are not necessarily good for us or others, at those times, caring what others think can be helpful towards staying on track.
We can use social pressure as a motivational tool to get ourselves to do things we might feel lazy about accomplishing.
Caring about what others think to the point of shutting down your own true needs desires, and potential is when this feeling becomes dangerous.
As long as caring what others think is helping you be a better you, then you are using that feeling correctly. If the feeling is limiting your growth, you might want to take a look at how you are using this feeling in your life.
Feelings are powerful because they tend to block out logical thought and become the overriding idea that takes over our entire mindset. In reality, feelings are there as informational sources, not to follow blindly but as a source of inquiry.
We naturally want the people in our life to like us and the feeling of wanting to do things that they will like can be overwhelming. The logical truth is though that there are all different kinds of people, and it is highly likely that even if many of the people in your life don't like you, there are others who will.
I noticed this particularly within the Jewish community where I grew up.
Dress codes are very important in the various Jewish communities. Within the Jewish orthodox community, there are possibly one hundred variations of communities. And each community believes they are doing it most right.
Mostly it is possible to tell these communities apart from the way they dress. I noticed that as soon as I changed one aspect of my clothing, the people I grew up with stopped considering me as theirs. They were a little less friendly. But the people who I dressed like now, liked me just a bit better, and started greeting me and smiling at me on the street.
I realized then how true the saying is |"When One Door Closes Another One Opens" Sometimes we have to be willing to let some people in our life go, or at least stop trying to please everyone, and you never know who will Welcome you on the other side of the door you just closed.