How To Find Happiness Despite Pain
I think therefore I am. Thoughts create our reality.
Or do they? Feelings came first.
As babies, as children, we did not have well formed thoughts yet. We were taking in the reality of our life's situation. Our experiences shape our thoughts.
Only later when we have a full set of experiences do we become creators in our own right. Only then do we begin to manipulate our reality into the experiences of our thoughts.
There is always truth in the reality of our experience. Feelings are sensations that are there for a reason to give us feedback about our environment so we could make better decisions about how to live our life.
Feelings are not meant to be shamed, ignored or even changed.
Feelings are there for us to listen and learn.
Here is an excerpt from the writing of my book:
Pain That Had No Name
Whereas before I had tried to manipulate my feelings into happiness by attempting to change my thoughts.
I now embraced my feelings, and listened to their message. I understood why they were there. I now knew that they were very important in my understanding of how to move forward in my life.
I knew my feelings were telling me I was unhappy, because there was plenty to be unhappy about, and that was ok. To feel unhappy in these circumstances was normal and natural, and good, as it was my feedback system urging me to change, to grow, to find better ways of living.
And in the pain, and in the unhappiness, I found joy. Because I now clearly knew and acknowledged the unhappy feelings which were perfectly fine and natural to have. I didn’t need to negate them, manipulate myself out of feeling them. I just needed to acknowledge that they were there for a reason.
Now I could feel the unhappiness but still be happy. Happy in my awareness and understanding of my steady, albeit very slow movement towards my goals.
I faced it all. I learned to be with everything that is. To deny nothing.
To feel it all. All the choices I had made. Unintentionally, unknowingly, I had done wrong to myself. Unintentionally others involved had done wrong as well. This wasn’t about blame. It was about awareness. When all is known, and the most painful truths are faced, only then can things be made right.
Every feeling must be acknowledged, listened to, and learned from. Our feelings, our emotions are our energetic sensors meant to teach us about the direction of movement we are taking in our lives.
It became clear to me that any negative emotion that are not properly faced, addressed and brought into the conscious awareness, can stay living within our cells in the form of physical tension and unhappiness.
No matter how much we dislike it, No matter how far we try to run. Pain is the way our bodies let us know that we could live a better life. Pain is our signal that the way we are connecting to life right now is in danger.
Pain comes in so many forms. It is important to find meaning and understanding of pain in order to work through it or at times make peace with it.
Pain is a teacher. Be it physical or emotional. It always has a reason.
Finding that reason, that lesson in the pain gives us the ability to work through it. Without clarity, confusion and helplessness is its own form of pain.
Painkillers hide pain, and can be useful, but if underlying reasons are never addressed, the wound only continues to fester.
Feeling into the pain, and recognizing the visceral experience of its effect upon the body is the first step to learning lessons, and transforming pain.