And.. can meditation help?
I'm not a dr. And I am not depressed... So really how can I write about depression. How can I know anything about a topic I haven't studied and have not experienced.
But I've known sadness, and I've known pain. And isn't depression a combination of these things in a chronic form?
When I was in an arranged marriage at 19. Life seemed to be coming apart at the seams for me. There was such a lack of coherency, each part of life, seemed so utterly bland and meaningless. It was like all life tasted like sand.
But I knew I wasn't depressed. I knew I was missing something. That I wasn't understanding something. That something was wrong.
And when the pain was so great it forced me to give up on all my beliefs about doing the right thing, and just get divorced even though I thought it was wrong.
And when after the divorce the pain didn't leave as it was embedded in my every cell. And for the life of me, I didn't know what life was all about. I still wasn't depressed.
I knew something was wrong. I knew if I could uncover the layers and layers of pain I could be happy.
And when I began to meditate and the pain was so great, I was afraid I would inadvertently hurt myself I still didn't think I was depressed.
Because I knew the truth, that something needed to be fixed. Something about the way I was perceiving things was not right. I needed a new way of thinking, a new way of living.
Life can be cruel. Life can be painful. Life is complex.
When You fall out of the game, when you lose touch with yourself. When you repress who you are. Sadness, unhappiness, pain is the result.
When you do not face the sadness, the unhappiness, the pain, the repression of who you are, then yes depression is the result.
There are no physical tests to confirm depression. Dr Kelly Brogan, who is a dr. has begun healing depression not through medication but with nutrition. She says depression is a symptom that something is out of balance. It can be physical/nutritional, or emotional. But most often it is not medical.
During meditation, you being to face all of who you are. You let it all be. You listen to all the jumble of thoughts and feelings that come at you as soon as you sit down in a quiet space.
In this space it is all ok, you let your thoughts speak.
And in those thoughts, as you slowly pull them apart, you begin to find the truth of who you are. And by facing that truth, no matter how painful, you begin to know..
To know who you are... what you like to do... what makes you happy.. and in finding yourself again.. you find peace.. and eventually in peace comes happiness.
Let me know in the comments what you do to keep yourself feeling good every day.